Death to Smoochy

Today, disaster struck.

In Hindu mythology there is a story about a wise man who found a little fish floundering in a puddle. He took it home and put it in a bowl. The next morning it had grown too big. He found a pond. Next morning it was too big. Then he took it to a lake. Same thing. Then the sea. Then the ocean. Eventually the fish saves the wise man (and 2 of every animal) from the flood. Besides the fact that white people stole this story and got rid of the fish, it is a lesson of some sort for us to learn from. All I know is that the little fish became god. The same thing has happened to Marrijit's (as yet unnamed) baby. The baby is huge, and Indian people think it is god.

I am sure several of you have some questions about this baby. Why is the baby darker than it used to be a few days ago? It is because I live in Arizona and I tan easily. Readers may ask, why is Arijit of Marrijit fame posting 3 times in succession, instead of an equal division of labor between him and his fair bride (in more ways than one)? It is because Marri has thrown out her back from carrying the fattie around.

What are we to do? I have suggested that we drive the baby to Nebraska and dump it there, because no state is going to believe this creature isn't at least 12. Marri didn't care as long as we didn't take it to Arkansas. Besides fat people and Bill Clinton, Arkansas is also famous for not letting gay people adopt. After a quick perusal of our 'Gay People Cliche's' dictionary, Marrijit has come to the conclusion that only a gay couple can redeem this fashionless foible of a human being.

We can also kill it. Just saying.