For those of you who are worried: I will not let Marri Coen name our kids. We have not discussed this, but our children will be named, 'Apostrophe', 'Whoosh', and 'Sweet Lion Lemonade'. It is a decision I made a long time ago.
I will love 'Apostrophe' the most. She will have a natural feeling for words and language, and will compose beautiful poetry. Just like her dad, she will go to an overpriced liberal arts school and then graduate to an MFA program in poetry. Of course, she will want to live in a little studio in Brooklyn. And she'll be a poet, so she won't have any money. So she'll ask her parents, Marri Coen and me, to give her money to support herself. She'll wear black. In retrospect, I think I hate her themost.
'Whoosh' will be a failed sports-star. He will be a second-string shooting guard with no passing skills. In college, he will play intramural B-league. He will not really get a job, but will pretend to spend his life getting ready for law school. He will waste my money.
'Sweet Lion Lemonade' will be the baby of the family. She'll have blonde curls, just like her mother. Or whatever color hair her mother has, I'll be dammed if I know. Sweet Lion Lemonade Coen-Sen will be the prettiest girl in all of kindergarten, and I will lock her up in her room on her twelfth birthday and sit outside it with a shotgun till she's ninety-five. No one's touching my daughter. Except for Apostrophe, Apostrophe will be one of those artsy girls who has sex with everyone. That should upset me, but she's just taken one too many 'loans' for me to care.
On looking over the matter, I think I hate all our kids. I'm going to push to have absolutely no kids. I hate kids. Kids smell bad, cost money, and have sex with ruffians.
Blogging is awesome !! Our relationship has never been this communicative or good.
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