Today, Arijit attempted to create a "curriculum vitae" to position himself for job offers when he finishes his MFA program. Unfortunately, Arijit is not qualified for anything. His many credits include, "Can eat 15 Fireballs in one sitting", "Recipient of 'Farting up a storm' award", "Came 7th in 'Fat Boy Category' 100m dash in 8th grade Sports Day practise". Despite these imaginary accomplishments, Arijit's curriculum vitae is entirely lacking in length. The truth is that Arijit has done nothing in his life to merit a job. Most 14 year olds can get more jobs than him. But after many hours of soul-searching, 3 cries later, and some sweaty arm-pits firmly behind him, Arijit hit upon the perfect CV entries.
PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:
- Masterminded corporate merger of love conglomerate "Marrijit Inc."
- Planned and Implemented "GroupThink (Inc.)" with mom Missy Louie. Human Resources co-head; staffed 44 as-yet unhired staff.
Arijit is ready to provide for his family.
Oh, yea! Baby!
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